The Kitchen Review

Homarus americanus

We need to know more about the lovely Homarus americanus - the mystery crustacean that scrambles nimbly across the deep-sea floor eluding scientists, lobstermen, and drawn butter.

Why are lobsters flourishing off the coast of Maine, but dwindling below Cape Cod? Cornelia Dean at the New York Times uncovers more questions than answers.

My thoughts may have wandered off towards an overstuffed lobster roll while reading, but one thing is perfectly clear. In both habitats, we've screwed the environment without understanding the wide ranging effects.

The Ranch Revolution

Brendan Koerner's article in today's Slate examines the meteoric rise in popularity of ranch dressing. Created on an actual ranch in Santa Barbara, the dressing now widens waste lines across America.

His closing paragraph reminded me of my central Texas college days when I would order a personal 'cheesestick' pizza - no sauce or toppings, just cheese - and dip it into a container of ranch dressing, washing it all down with a liter of Coke.  I was a real early adopter on that one.

I make my dressing from scratch now and try to forget my wayward past.

Write What You Know

Last night, I took my second food writing class with David Leite through mediabistro. The class was entitled Me, Myself, and Foie Gras and detailed the do's, don'ts, why's and how's of writing food essays in a three-hour seminar.

I found the evening very helpful for several reasons. I hadn't explored the food essay in the Introduction to Food Writing online course that I took with David a few months ago. This seminar showed how the essay is quite different from other types of food writing, including blogging. David was clear about the common pitfalls for essayists, but also provided strategies for avoiding them. He also gave some great sources for further exploration. And perhaps most importantly for me right now, David is always honest, but encouraging. He gives his students a roadmap and packs a little motivational peanut butter sandwich for the trip. (Perhaps, I should say instead an Asparagus and Prosciutto Tea Sandwich.)

If you’d like to take your food writing to the next level, take a course from Mr. Leite. He’s a first-rate writer and a fantastic teacher.

Plastic, It's What's For Dinner

You've got perfluorooctanoic acid in your veins! That's Teflon to you and me. You didn't get it from our Teflon President. You got it from plastic food containers, nonstick pans, and home cleaning products.

Why? Well, it doesn't biodegrade...ever. And that's just great because it is probably a cancer risk. Oh, and it kills birds.

Sounds yummy, DuPont. Thanks.

Cafe Tony

In last night's No Reservations, Anthony Bourdain checks into L'Hotel in St. Germain-des-Pres, is haunted by the ghost of Oscar Wilde, finds an absinthe expert and gets drunk, has hallucinations that the wallpaper is attacking him, wakes up with a wicked hangover, eats Blanquette de Veau in Les Halles at Chez Denise, wanders through the sewers all night, slams Rocco, gets breakfast at the Rungis Market, and dines at an unmarked neighborhood bistro on Chateaubriand extolling the virtues of headcheese. The program ends with our man Tony sitting outside at a cafe, on a cold and cloudy April day, smoking Gauloise and watching the world go by.

What started as an attempt to prove that "the French do not suck," ends with an exhortation for Americans to sit down and enjoy life once in awhile.

This show is weird. There was more than one psychedelic montage, and the pacing seemed a little frenetic. It is a hybrid travel show and food show, which results in it being pretty light on real information about either. Basically, it is all about Tony - his experiences and thoughts. It is almost all interior monologue.

We are lucky that Tony is such a fascinating character and can keep us entertained for an hour. Personally, I'd like to meet other interesting people. That woman sharpening knives with little more than her own steely gaze might have been an interesting subject, or the kids making fun of Tony's cowboy boots. Tony really interacting with people, like only Tony can, would help round out the show.

It's a good start, though. I will tune in next week to see Tony in Iceland, getting his glutes massaged and eating shark.

Hot, Hot Tony

Anthony Bourdain goes global again in his new Travel Channel show - No Reservations.  It's on Monday nights at 10pm. So, you know where I'll be tonight.

The Times says he will be dumping on Rocco DiSpirito and getting drunk on absinthe in tonight's Parisian episode.

It is clear from the article that Virginia Heffernan has her own hot, hot Tony fantasies. Take a number, sister. However,  me thinks the dripping wet Tony that greets visitors on the show's website cheapens our man's natural machismo.

California Dreaming

Is Fatburger scoping out Manhattan? They've already landed in Jersey.

They'll never be able to catch up with Shake Shack in customer service.

Faux Pho

It's summertime and I can't get enough Vietnamese food. I adore the fresh ingredients and bright flavors. The combination of cooked and raw ingredients is so refreshing.

I came down with a cold this weekend and nothing appealed to me more than a bowl of Pho. Pho is a beef soup with rice noodles, thin strips of tenderloin, and various raw vegetables. I had never thought to make it at home before because I'm too lazy to make the proper stock, but recently my French-Vietnamese friend Karen told me that she uses bouillon cubes from Chinatown in hers. So I picked up a brightly colored box from the Vietnamese market on Mulberry Street.

This picture isn't the same flavor I used, but I believe it is the brand. I also picked up rice stick noodles, otherwise known as rice vermicelli, and some chili garlic hot sauce.

My Faux Pho isn't traditional, but it is easy. The ingredients are simple. I reconstituted the soup stock, cooked and cooled the vermicelli, grilled some skirt steak and thinly sliced it, chopped a couple stalks of scallion, and lightly pickled thin slices of radish and carrot in rice vinegar, sugar, and water. When everything was ready, I assembled it in a bowl and topped it with some bitter greens and dots of hot sauce. It sure was pretty.

Unlike stock made from American bouillon cubes, the Pho wasn't too salty. The soup had hints of cinnamon, star anise, and ginger, which was incredibly satisfying. Now, I'm sure that making stock from scratch would produce a superior Pho, but I think my Faux Pho is going into my repertoire of quick and easy recipes.

I Will Slim Down

The plaintive refrains of the late Wesley Willis's song, "I'm Sorry That I Got Fat ( I Will Slim Down)" have been heard around my house lately. Let's just say that the Mr. and Mrs. have put on a few pounds since getting hitched.  However, we both love good food and aren't about to go on a restrictive diet.

In an effort to figure out how best to address the fact that we were obviously taking in more calories than we were burning, Kris stumbled across a website that helps track food intake and weight loss. Fitday is a daily food journal that shows you how many calories you're eating, what type of calories you're eating, and whether you are burning more than you consume. The food listings are skewed towards the middle American diet, but I can usually find the individual ingredients for the variety of ethnic foods that I eat regularly.

The website doesn't really tell you how to lose weight, it just shows you why you are gaining weight. After using the site for two weeks, I realized I wasn't eating enough lean protein, and that I could use a lot more fiber in my diet. This isn't revelatory information, it just helps to have the problem illustrated in nifty pie charts and graphs. I've also found that if I know I have to list the ice cream in my journal, I'll eat a more reasonable portion of it.

Jerky Round the World

I did jury duty this week and that meant Chinatown shopping. At Kam Man, I picked up two interesting jerky-type products. One of which I just put in my mouth.

Soo Singapore's Satay Beef Jerky in the 8oz. gift box is interesting. It's got a dusty coating of 'satay' spices, a natural shape, and a texture that is decidedly dry. Really dry. Between the dusting and the dryness, chewing it is like gnawing on a strip of leather baked in an oven at 500 degrees for 8 days. I think the problem is that the meat itself is just too lean. In traditional US jerky, the fat keeps the meat pliable. I am planning on keeping it in my desk drawer at work in case the Apocalypse starts between the hours of 10am and 6pm on Monday through Friday.

In more disturbing jerkiness, I am giving an Asian-inspired noodle soup gift set with a pretty pair of bowls to our friend for his birthday. Included in the set is dried noodles, hot sauce, soup base, and a container of dried pork floss. My friend seems like a guy who could appreciate a container of fluffy shredded dehydrated pork.